A Eulogy for Megavideo

Some time has now elapsed since our turbulent friend was taken from us, and ripples of absence are still being felt in the digital kingdom. Our first world problem being the abdication, imprisonment and death of MegaUpload and its favourite son MegaVideo.

Our trusted prophet for entertainment has been subdued by the powers that be, and with cyber-anonymity being promoted to terrorist threat, many others are yet to fall. But let us take a moment to be thankful for the hours of knowledge, art, entertainment and trash that has been gifted us free of charge these years. Goodbye Planet Earth, goodbye Wire, goodbye Buffy, goodbye Jeremy Kyle. See you on some less pixelated pasture.

Of course, Megz, our often reliable compromise was not without its drawbacks. We all had our own variety of methods for vaulting the 72 minute rule, whilst shooting down a polluting fountain of advertisement. Thrusting at us poker, quasi-porn and macKeeper’s dubious yet vigorous claims of cauterizing the doomsy junk of your laptop, no doubt spouted by itself.

There were the good bad times too, inadvertently trolling you with wrong links to The Happening whilst scouring for Shawshank or Gump.

Without MegaVideo, our bored receptacles turn towards its waning supernova brethren. The survivors are a gallery of suitors equally as suspect. Streaming from VideoBB is like walking an orange tightrope of loathing, Sockshare masquerades as The One before jilting you three minutes in to your Simpsons episode, and there’s Videoweed: mockingly self-aware, its movements lagging. These fragile sites are a shower of many, named by contracting two nonsense words and voted marginally reliable at 50% successful each. Gorrilavid, Vidxden, Vureel, Vidbux, Filebox, Movreel, Upsneeze Snublox, Wormpload, Crudbucket, Apefile, Necrox, Fedpeel Smutreel, Shitcocks, Herpbox, Derpfile O where can I find my stories amongst these lacklustre clones?

Truth be told, we have been stripped of something we shouldn’t really be entitled to in the first place, but have swiped Prometheusly. Now, for those of us without salvation in Netflix or Love Film, we shall mooch outside the video store in our regressed 90’s form, like a skulking Silent Bob wraith (as opposed to the hunched gloaming binger of internet TV that we once were).

So think upon all that has been lost, next time you stare vacantly into that rotating rainbow wheel. Or don’t. I don’t really care.